All's Quiet on the Western Front

This past week of being sick has brought on a sense of loneliness. Missing a week of work and two days of class, not spending the usual quality time with my boyfriend, and not seeing my phone light up with a call or text message today, nor seeing my email filter in any friendly emails or even junk mail - I all of a sudden feel isolated from my "norm."

The one half of my acting class that I was close to feels further from me, and it's such a different vibe compared to Boot Camp 1. The new people of BC2, interacting with them, and having them have no idea of who I really am - mixed with the BC1-ers who DO know me. I can't even put all my energy into getting to know and getting comfortable with the new people because all of my energy has been sucked away from me by this cold/bronchitis infection/whatever I have. Being among the people in BC2 is such a foreign feeling.

Work...even though I'm still drained and sick and have a fever that's up and down, I still have to go to work to pay for the upcoming holidays/trips/...and well, classes! Can't afford to take off more days unless I'm on my deathbed. That's a depressing thought.

So, again, that leaves no time for my guy. I most likely won't have quality time with him till we head east. That's right ~ not even the weekend because I'll be working. Gotta love it. Life.

Hate this feeling of isolation.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

So, despite the fact that I'm sick with a cold and slight fever and missing two nights of Actors' Boot Camp 2 (and it's the first week), I'm still enjoying my time at home and the season. I know it's not even December yet, but it officially felt like the holidays as soon as Andrew and I made our 2-week holiday plan...and then made our way to the holiday-decorated Disneyland! It was a fabulously magical trip! ;-) And on Thanksgiving Day, we even started talking Christmas gifts for our families. The Saturday after Thanksgiving, while Christmas music rang through my living room and the scents of Gingerbread and Cranberry Orange candles filled the atmostphere, my tree went up. It was the first time in 3 years! So yeah, I'm in a holiday-y mood more than usual. And once again, I love that there's a chill in the air (especially in the mornings and nights) to really make it feel like the holidays!

Thanksgiving was a good time. We went to Andrew's brother's place, and his sister came down from Santa Barbara. I have to say that while I haven't been able to spend Thanksgiving or my birthday with my family in two years, I feel very lucky to have Andrew's siblings welcome me in.

The first two days of Actors' Boot Camp 2 were...good, to say the least...and interesting. I'm just so happy to have half of my Boot Camp 1 class with me. Otherwise, I would feel so out of place. The rest of the class seems nice enough, but it's obviously not the same. We (my BC1 peeps) were lucky to have grown so close within just the first night of BC1. What I've found interesting is that the Technique teacher we loved so much in BC1, the "new" people in BC2 hated him with a passion! The dynamics of our group gelled with him better, I guess.

And other than that, little by little, I'm becoming a grown up. LOL. Cleaning up my apartment, clearing out old papers dating back to 2005 (yeah), getting organized, and hey - I actually cooked two dishes within a week! I tried out a squash soup and a cauliflower casserole (for Thanksgiving dinner). Both turned out quite good. :-) And in the new year, Andrew will be building me a wrap-around bench with storage for my dining room! At that time, I can say "bring on the housewarming party!" One step at a time.

Right now I need to take care of my seasonal cold... *cough cough*

Thought for the Evening...

While I'm enjoying Actors Boot Camp more than I ever imagined, it makes me sad that I can find no time to keep up with my apartment (Andrew's place puts mine to shame right now!), keep up with my mail (especially - um - clearing out the old stuff from Arlington, Va), do grocery shopping, or spend real good hang out time with my boyfriend. It makes me think...when I become a full time working actor, I'm going to need a maid and a personal assistant. Hell, bring it on now!

I can't f***in' talk to you anymore

I'm sorry. I can't fuckin' talk to you anymore. You know, in the beginning, I thought you might be a pretty cool guy. A sick sense of humor and a little long-winded, but possibly a good person - a like-able person.

Now after two weeks of seeing your face, hearing your voice, hearing your narrow minded, hard headed opinions, I can't fuckin' talk to you anymore.

You're fuckin' lazy, you don't do your work, you don't care about our ensemble, what the fuck are you doing here?!

On a personal note, don't fuckin' criticize what I love and tell me I should go to Asia, don't fuckin' be a pessismist - rooting for the villain all the time? what the fuck is that? Especially in love! Rooting for the guy to slam the door on a girl who's in love? Um, aren't you married?! Aren't you Spanish or Latino or something? Or is THAT it? You're living up to the stereotype. Ohh, the "Latin Lover." Whatever dude.

Fucker. I don't know where you're coming from, but it's not from a positive place. Stay out of my face for the next two weeks. I really can't talk to you anymore.

Sleepy and My Birthday Update

Sleepiness...

Writing while I'm sleepy is not typical of me, I'm gonna do it now...cuz I just wanted to say how happy I am. My birthday was two days ago, and I've never received such an outpour of birthday wishes ~ facebook messages, myspace messages, emails, e-cards, text messages, phone calls. It was so wonderful to feel so loved and remembered by everyone I care about. On top of all that, Andrew and his brother and sister were so sweet to treat me to dinner this past Saturday. Going to see "Wicked" Sunday night was fabulous, our seats were fantastic, and I was thrilled to see Megan Hilty in the role of G(a)linda again! And to meet her, get her pic and autograph! YAY!!! Then Disneyland ON my birthday...can it get any better??? ...oh, yes, it can!!! Overnight stay at Disney next month!!! Just a little birthday extension... ;-)

Okay...sleep time...zzzzzzzz...

Baby SULLY has arrived!!!

I got my MINI (yes, named Sully) this past Wednesday!!! Full update with pics to come! ...and YES, I LOVE it!!!

MINI Update

I know...you care SO much...thank you! :-) hehe... Well, as I slowly infiltrate my friends' minds with my squeaky "MINI!!!" voice, here is my update.

My MINI is in transport!!!















"Though still adjusting a bit to its sea-wheels, your new MINI wants you to know that so far the cruise has actually been a blast - great buffets and lots of partying with its brothers. But still, your MINI can't wait to dock, hit the road, and chew up solid ground again."

HOORAY!!! 3 more weeks... :-)

*general frustration...as I had googled MINI info weeks ago concerning the production process, I found a blog that gave me everything I needed to know, including websites to track the ship carrier with my MINI. Sadly, I can't find the ship carrying my MINI, as none of the dates listed line up with the day my MINI was loaded onto the carrier. Guess I'll have to sit in the dark waiting for the 21 to 25 (now LESS) days to pass and to get the call from my dealer saying my MINI has arrived!

Excitement in the Air...

My MINI (Sully) is real now!!! No longer is it just words and options and packages listed on a page. He's built, been test driven, and now waiting for a ship to pick him up in Southampton, England and bring him to me here in California! Lucky guy...he's going to get to take a 22-day cruise! ;-)

Check out the cute message on the Order Tracking page:

For those without a magnifying glass, it reads: "Congratulations! Your healthy and handsome new MINI has been built. A wee bit heavy for any stork, your MINI will now be loaded onto a ship to make its way across the pond. At night, we're sure it'll be dreaming of tearing through twisty turns with aplomb and glee."

HOORAY!!!

Another NYC Buble Story

It feels like it's been quite a while since I've had one of these and before my brain gets filled with the latest Harry Potter readings, I thought I'd project my NYC and Buble memories to this blog.

I arrived in NYC on the first day of Buble's 3-night show at Radio City Music Hall. It was very strange to be back on the east coast, sitting in New York traffic, remembering exits and the Triboro Bridge, and relating them to my commute from Lifetime. It felt like so long ago and so familiar, yet *I* was out of place with my sunny, cheery California attitude. Ringing in my ear is something I said while living in the city: "I feel like I've been misplaced." It rang truer than ever last week.

Upon arriving at my old apt. on W. 129th St., I was greeted by the new roommate, Shamisha (?) and one of my old roommates, Jen. We hung out in the living room watching ABC Family and The Disney Channel ~ quite unusual compared to the last time I was there when there was no AC and the TV was not hooked up. I had a chance to get to know Shamisha a bit when we made a trip to CVS and McDonald's, and I found out that she's actually from California ~ the Bay area. Really nice girl. Stephanie (my friend who took over my room and is now moving back to FL) came home just as I was about to get ready for the concert. She looked fabulous, and we got ready for the unpredictable night ahead.

To gloss over the show...it was okay. I'm not sure if we just weren't that into it because we're not that familiar with his newest CD (with the exception of the standards) or if it just wasn't the best show/best music compared to past shows. The set wasn't the greatest, he had cheesy projections, and way too many lights, along with his "MB" insignia.

Waiting by the stage door was awkward as always. We didn't want to stand too close to the Buble fans. The guys trickled out, and one by one, they came over to say "hi" ~ Justin, Alan and his girlfriend, Nick (after Stephanie spotted Jen for me - Jen didn't even recognize me!), and Bryan Lipps. Jen mentioned the guys were talking about going to this bar/restaurant, and soon after, Justin and Alan invited us/asked if we were going. We decided to go and headed over after a bit.

The bar wasn't crowded at all ~ always love that! And the first person we saw was Justin. We went over to say "hello" and Stephanie bolted for the bathroom. I turned my head, and who should I see but Mark! We said "hello" and "how are you dooooiiing?!?" and caught up...my words rapidly came out from nerves. (Getting in my head too much ~ I have no idea how much these guys talk about us [when we come in the picture], how they actually view us, are we actually welcomed...especially now that I'm no longer single.) The conversation with Mark and me was good ~ not too little, not too much.

We met the two new guitar players ~ Dino and Robert. Dino seemed a bit cocky and was pretty much interrogating us as to HOW we know the guys. Were we Buble fans or not? Robert was nice, however, Stephanie and I recently found out that he used what he (apparently) considers a "line" on both of us individually. Craig showed up and gave us all awkward, quirky hugs, then retreated to the bar with who I guessed was his girlfriend.

Justin, Alan, and his girlfriend, Linette made their rounds to chat with us (keep in mind, Steph and I sat at one table the entire evening). After an hour or more, Craig came around to say "hello" and catch up. His girlfriend stood behind him, not saying a word, even as I made eye contact with her and tried to include her in the conversation. Craig finally introduced her to me; not as his girlfriend, but simply as "Nina." He and I talked about the show, and then he said "Oh, I hear you're in love..." And I was like "yeah..." and with a forced smile, he said "Aww...that's good." He then invited me to his "Craig Polasko Memorial Birthday Celebration" (um yeah. An example of his quirkiness). Memorial because it's his 30th. Right. Anyway, they're having it at Alan's house while they're here in L.A. Alan and Linette invited me, as well. Should be a good time, and also answers my question of "Am I actually welcomed in this group?"

Notables for the evening:

• Steph and I have "nice toes"
• Steph, Linette, and I did blow job shots with hands ~ I don't know how people REALLY expect girls to do it sans hands.
• I'm "alluring"
• "I have a boyfriend" can somehow be misconstrued as "I have to go to bed."

The rest of my week in bullet-form :-)
WEDNESDAY

• Slept in since we were out till 5am and had a late lunch with Stephanie (mmm wonderful gnocchi)

• Saw an awesome MINI Cooper billboard (for those not completely up-to-date on my life, I placed an order for a MINI Cooper-S (not a convertible :-() two weeks ago. I now have 6-8 weeks to wait till it comes in!!! Pic of the car I built to be uploaded to the sidebar soon if it hasn't been so already. :-D

• Attempted to meet with Randy for dinner, but the 2-3 going uptown and downtown wasn't running!
• It was ridiculously hot and humid...thus leading to hanging out at the apt. for the rest of the night

THURSDAY

• Jamie and I met up with Randy for Broadway in the Park (ridiculously hot again!), but awesome music!
• Lea Solonga performed!

• Randy and I met for dinner several hours later (yummy thai!)
• Last sort-of hanging out with Steph and Jamie since I wouldn't see them before I left the next day

FRIDAY

• Harry Potter ALL DAY - with the exception of packing, commuting to JFK and standing in line to change flights.

Unappreciated

"Oy with the poodles already!" And if you don't know the quote, I'm not going to explain.

I'm so fed up. What's the point in making me feel like the dumbest QCer in the facility and completely micromanaging me after not giving me work for a week?! Really, is it necessary to post on our work-public schedule that I better be on time - as though I come strolling in ridiculously late every day?! With the laidback clock-in time to be flexible between 9am and 9:30am, I know I've come in between 9:15am and 9:30am ~ only occasionally 10am, including this past Wednesday. So that - what - forever marks me as the ditzy, late employee?! Because gee, just in case I missed it on the schedule, I better get a text at 7:15am to say "You're at the office at 9am today." That's right. TWO f@#*ing "reminders"! Hmm - I don't ever remember texting him asking if I needed to come in (due to the schedule being unaccessible online) ~ which, in the past, has been the only time that he would text me about coming into the office. For that, he deserves my snarky reply of "Thanks, I saw the schedule."

Un-frickin'-believable - Unnecessary!!!

Why can't I find a workplace where I can just be happy?

One year, One month, and One day

Well, since I was unable to have a One year, One month, and One day party (celebrating the time I've been in L.A.), I figured a blog was in order.

To think back to the time I was in New York, or a more drastic comparison - to when I was in Arlington, I would have never imagined how much I truly am going for my dream today. To hear myself update my friends and family of what I'm up to, it's such a foreign concept compared to my life in Arlington. What was I doing there? I would've had SUCH a different life if I had stayed in the D.C. area. Editing at Discovery. Sure, maybe it would've been cool, but there still would've been that longing in me that there was something more. LOL ~ and maybe I still would've come out here thinking that I'll edit in Hollywood and somehow be gripped by an invisible "force" into the acting world. LOL

I am truly grateful to be here in California ~ a place I've wanted to be since I was very little! Everything seems to have and continues to fall in place. Who'd have thought that last July 4th, I would've met the very sweet wife of a Days actor (of course, followed by meeting her husband); the very day that I dropped off my application to my apartment, which is managed by someone who is friends with one of the Days producers, and is now going to help me get on the show (!?!). Apart from that, who would've known that my very first consultant at AIA Studios is still in touch with me today (after I'm on my third consultant) and is now my coach and helping me in tremendous ways with my career path.

From one class to another, auditions here and there for student films and for agents, with each one, I feel my talent growing and emerging, with my last audited class having the instructor (an old soap star, himself) claiming that he really liked what I did, thought I was a talented actress, and "covered" well (haha) - in a good way, but he saw there was more just shimmering on the surface, and he wants to work with me to bring it out.

It's such a different life than what I had imagined it would be one year, one month, and one day ago. ;-) I never knew I could be so committed...but being in this environment, there's so much direct and indirect support. I love having a creative boyfriend; it definitely doesn't hurt! He continuously inspires me, and he's interested and supportive of what I do everyday.

Visiting over a year ago, I didn't completely understand when someone told me that it really is an inspirational place ~ everywhere you go, you hear industry people talking; it's constant creative stimulation. It's exactly what I need to keep me on path and follow my dream!

Law of Attraction

Law of Attraction is seriously at play...and maybe a bit of restoring some "harmonic emotion" in my life.

So, for about three to four days this week, I was in a ridiculously stressed state. No solid reasons why, I was able to find reasons as to why I shouldn't be stressed about situations, I was able to find the positives in the situations, and I knew that I was actively correcting these situations, so why be stressed? Yeah, I don't know. Except that I simply just got too focused on it and made the situation bigger than it had to be.

Some background: As you may know, one of my biggest dreams is to have a contract role on Days of Our Lives. I know Peter Reckell by way of my boyfriend, whose client is Peter's wife. He knows me; he and his wife have given me some furniture. Neither he or his wife know that I'm an aspiring actress. My apartment manager has had - what I guess you would call - a co-starring role on Days. During that time, my toilet had backed up, and he stopped by to take a look. We got to talking about the industry and of course, his co-starring role, and he learned about my big dream. "Well, would you like to get on as maybe an extra?" he asked. To which I, of course, responded "Sure!" In the back of mind I'm also hoping that it never interferes with getting a contract role down the road. Well, my apt. manager is friends with one of the producers, so he promised to talk to him about it. Rock on!

I ran into my apartment manager yesterday afternoon (again, this is after having a few slumpy, woe-is-me days). As expected, I kept things upbeat ~ "Oh, I'm good! How are you?!" After the everyday greetings, he said that he still had to call his friend about getting me on the show, but he knows that they'll be going on hiatus in a week or so and will be up and running again mid-July. I handed him my business card, which is my headshot on a business card with my name and contact info, to give to his producer-friend. We chatted more about the industry and said our goodbyes.

That evening, Andrew and I went out for dinner. After a few minutes of contemplation and deciding on sushi, but not our usual place, and not in Hollywood (I could not deal with crowds last night), we headed to a place more down the street from me in Studio City. It was a nice change of scenery...and at the end of dinner, just as Andrew is taking care of the bill, and we're laughing about...something...I recognize this guy who's sitting at the table behind Andrew. It's Jay Kenneth Johnson, aka "Philip" on Days! *a small inward excitement dance and giggles* Thank God I have a boyfriend who puts up with me and my small obsessions! ;-) And he also knew who I was talking about since Jay's been on Scrubs a few times, as well. Anyway, I did not stop by his table as we were headed out to say "Hey, I've enjoyed your work" or anything like that; maybe I should've, but for the moment, I'm okay that I didn't. What would happen when I'm cast on Days and have to work with him day-to-day? Can't have him remembering me as "one of those fans." ;-)

Waiting for the valet to bring my car, I remembered that Jay and my apartment manager have also worked together! It was one scene when Philip came to the island to take "his daughter" back and the sheriff (my apt. manager) had to deal with that situation. It's crazy to think how we're all interconnected, and I can't believe how much Days "stuff" I'm attracting. As The Secret says..."Attention goes where energy flows."

Just Call Me Haley!

Haley...the cute girl from this season's American Idol who Simon said was cute, but not memorable. I rooted for her because - well- her voice amidst the powerful female voices of AI is how I see my voice amidst what's popular on Broadway today (sweet/classic voice vs. pop/rock voice). And last night, I saw it all come to fruition...this time in an acting class.

"Your outfit is so cute! You look VERY 'irresponsible'; great choice! But I need [xyz in acting] from you." Good lord...how do I put this? I don't want to say that I'm God's gift to acting; I'm still refining my craft. I'm currently researching and moving forward and finding places where I can grow and break through these blocks. But I seriously felt like Haley up there. 'You're cute, but hon, you need some work with that talent' (paraphrased into my own exaggeration, of course).

Then again, it could've just been the scene that didn't work for me. The first two weeks, I didn't receive one criticism from her.

In any case, I think in the end, I'm glad to hear the criticism, rather than a re-direction and a "gooood..." and not knowing if it was simply a polite statement. She made me aware of what I already knew, and it's now simply a reaffirmation, and a stronger push to find something even sooner to make me really focus on making my craft better!

The recent news before last night: I have a POTENTIAL commercial agent. He seemed interesting/a character, but nice and was interested in representing me...I'll be calling later today to see if I can schedule an interview. He didn't give us much info during the Q&A about his agency, so in an attempt to find info, I emailed some of the actors he represents to get their opinion and to find out if he's been sending them out on enough auditions. Two responded, and both said that he was interesting/nice, but he hasn't done much for them.

My other piece of news is that I'll be interviewing with Beverly Hills Playhouse tomorrow afternoon (info on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beverly_Hills_Playhouse). I found out about them as I was researching the above mentioned agency, checked out the website, and their classes, style of teaching, and instructors seemed perfect! Just what I need to kick my butt into real acting. Not to mention, one of the beloved evil characters from Days takes classes there. ;-)

Other than that, today has been all about getting acting errands done ~ thank you cards, postcards, getting postcard stamps, calling and making appointments...and of course, making a stop by Starbucks, where today, my name is Sharmane.

So...call me Haley...or Sharmane. Whatever you please...though I really don't know who Sharmane is.

My life is being abducted again...

Whew! My world is spinning! One day off can certainly put things in perspective for a girl.

Okay, first of all, I knew that my month was going to be a busy one. Every hour I was remembering that I was scheduled for a class, an audition, meeting up with friends on this day or that. I was at a loss each time when I didn't have my planner on me! Finally, I was able to lay everything out today. What I discovered...I'm booked for 6 days straight starting June 11th for acting classes and one audition. June's gonna be non-stop...and I don't think it's going to slow down till my birthday in October, as I've just agreed to do another community theatre show. I say "another" as though I do this all the time. I used to, but my last one was two years ago, two *cities* ago.

Sidenote: going to the "Oliver!" audition the other night was so great! I can't say how much I loved being around that community theatre atmosphere. It doesn't seem to change no matter where I go ~ whether it's Richmond, D.C., or L.A. It's all the same. Musical artists coming together to put on a great show for the love of theatre. And as cheesy as it sounds, you can feel that love.

Woo! This is the first thing I've been cast in in Los Angeles! Fabulous! ;-) LOL ...oh wait. I'm forgetting "Grey's Anatomy." That was the first. Right!

I've also just submitted myself for an audition for "Bye Bye Birdie." Rehearsals would start June 9th, with performances going up July 14th-29th. How psycho am I??? No telling if I'd be cast, though.

Wow. Other than that, I've prepared my cover letter today for soap associate casting directors, I'll mail them out on Monday...it'll be mighty tough to work a schedule with them IF they want me on set this summer. If not, I can wait till the fall. ;-)

My head's still spinning...no wine for me tonight!

What's in a Name?

I'm curious...is my name really that hard to spell? Am I not annunciating enough? Over-annunciating? Well, I've decided to create a sidebar list of the misspellings I've seen Starbucks employees make in writing my name on my cup.

I'm ready to wallow now

Happy, happy, happy, happy, BLEUGH!!! It's time for my insecurities to come out. My doubts, fears, sadness, longing. Ignore everything for just this short moment of "everything is going to be okay, everything will be fine, it'll happen in your own time."

I went through today with no inspiration. It was such a depressing feeling that I tried hard to come out of. Looking around our gray, dim-lit, QC room and thinking "What can inspire me?" I look at the TV monitor (which I'm supposed to be watching anyway) and try to find some sort of inspiration from what I'm QCing. What was I QCing??? There were German voices coming at me from the headphones, shots of guns and mob guys chasing each other for tons of money (in the end, I think it ended being a movie within a movie). Inspiring? No. Next movie. I was listening to music and effects, and watching some horrible acting with a storyline that was perposterous (I heard the dialogue yesterday afternoon). No. No inspiration.

Nothing to look forward to today or tomorrow or this weekend. No plans. I haven't seen Andrew...sorry, I correct myself...I haven't spent time with Andrew in four days ~ and I don't even think Sunday counts since he was jet lagged, not talkative, and all we did was watch TV, he slept for hours, then we did laundry. So, I take that back. I haven't spent any REAL quality time with my boyfriend in 12 days! And why was our last conversation last night about him meeting up with his ex for lunch in a couple of days? Honestly, it's not that I don't trust him ~ I trust him completely. I just don't like his ex. Shocker? Probably not for most. My reasoning is that she was completely rude to me the first time I met her. You know the people who won't look you in the eye, won't acknowledge that you're there standing right next to their friend? Thus making you wonder why you're there; you're not a part of the conversation. That would be the situation of my first lovely encounter with her. So as a result, any thoughts, topics brought up about her makes me cringe. Ms. Rudeness.

I missed my improv class tonight. Second one I missed out of four. The class is over now. I'm disappointed in myself, but I also felt like I had no energy for the class whatsoever. It's one where you have to be on top of your game, your creativeness HAS to be flowing at all times. It wasn't in me tonight. It just wasn't in me.

My mom has brought the harsh reality of money to my face. I've been aware, but still avoiding it somehow. I've trusted that in taking the acting classes that the money will be there, it will come one way or another. And it will...and I realize that I just have to be careful about spending money on whatever else I spend money on. It's made me sad that I'm dismissing a possible great opportunity to take a workshop with Jason Alexander because I don't know if I have the money for it. And it's not that expensive compared to other classes I've taken.

Little devilish doubts of accomplishing my dream of acting, of being on Days or anything have crept in (this is despite the fact that my apt. manager, who's friends with a producer on Days, said he could probably get me on as an extra; not to mention I'll be working on the film version of "Get Smart" on Monday). And I'm trying to ward them off before they find a dwelling inside of me.

I'm off. I'm completely off today.

It makes me wonder what has brought me to this point. The tragedy of a few weeks ago? My lack of keeping on task of creative projects? Not being able to relax and spend some quality time with Andrew? Not talking to my closest friends in a while? My lack of energy to go to acting class? Perhaps a combination.

All I know is that I'm feeling blue. I'll get out if it soon. I know I will. I just need this short moment to wallow.

My Va Tech Hokies...

After the day's events at Virginia Tech (my alma mater for those who don't know), I wanted to share these two pieces of writing. My shock and sadness has left me without words...except for the repeated "this is crazy. this is ridiculous. so surreal. TECH???" I used to LIVE in West AJ! The media's questions have been ridiculous "why didn't you do this? why didn't you do that?" Completely hounding on the "safety" of the campus; asking students aren't they scared? Are they reconsidering going back next year? A majority of students are saying "no, this isn't an everyday occurance." Duh! The media just doesn't get it.

Below is an email from the head of the communications dept. at Va Tech. She describes what the media isn't reporting. And here's a link to a Dateline correspondant/VA Tech alum. She gets it.

She gets it.

http://insidedateline.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2007/04/16/153162.aspx

Dear Communication Alumni:

I know you share our devastation at today's events.  We're in shock.
When the university releases the names of the victims, everything will
become very, very real.

Here's what you can't hear on the news.   People around campus took
responsibility for securing areas and protecting students.  I can only
share the great response from your faculty.   We learned in the Morva
incident to listen to police scanners online at the first sign of trouble.
Events transpire too quickly for the university administration to get
word to everyone nearly as quickly as everyone would hope. 

Beth Waggenspack and Emily Stallings pulled a high school Art club from
West Virginia off the sidewalk and into Shanks Hall.  We secured them
in a basement classroom until we knew the danger had ended.  Beth and
Emily ordered students walking around campus inside.   Others facuolty
kept students calm down at the Shultz Media Center.  I know similar
efforts were made by faculty and staff around campus.   Now, our Student
Affairs staff are bearing a tremendous burden as they notify and support
families of those killed and injured.

I know many of you want to know what you can do.   We can only ask that
you keep everyone, especially the victims and their families, in your
thoughts and prayers.   As other initiatives develop, and we know they
will, we'll send word.

For now, hug your loved ones.

With a sad, sad heart.

Rachel

Rachel Holloway, Head
Department of Communication
Virginia Tech
Blacksburg, VA 24061

Two and a Half Months

So, without fail, it's been a while since I've posted. The past couple of months have flown by filled with ups and downs, but mostly ups. Since January, my schedule has been filled with QC work, two trips to Oakland and San Francisco (a viewing of "Legally Blonde, the musical," which was GREAT!!!), Baltimore, Arlington, and Richmond. The trip to Baltimore was for Andrew's sister's wedding, which then lead me south to visit friends and family. A much needed trip after having my Christmas vacation cut short. When I returned to L.A., I was swept away into more background acting work on a new show (yet to be picked up) called "The Apostles." They're describing the show to be "Law and Order" (or some other cop show) meets "Desperate Housewives." I worked on the show for three days ~ reason being, uncooperative weather...like HAIL. Yes, hail in Southern California. That, the sudden downpours of rain, and cold 40-degree weather was ridiculous! Especially when we're shooting what's supposed to be pool party on a warm, sunny California day. It was so nice to actually see 20 minutes of sunshine on the third day. Highlights of the week: the production crew was totally nice and remembered every one of the background actors names. On my second day, I saw a background actor that I actually recognized...Mikey ~ the winner of last season's "I Wanna Be a Soap Star." Yyyup. We chatted a bit, and after we had introduced ourselves within the small group, I asked him if he was on "Soap Star." I had to. He was exactly as they portrayed him.

The following week, I was flooded with phone calls. On Wednesday, there was a call asking if I could do background work for another pilot. I couldn't accept the work, though, as I had already lost so much money the week before doing the 3 days on "The Apostles." Thursday, I received a call asking if I would be interested in participating in an industrial commercial on Saturday. However, I already scheduled myself for an audition for "I Wanna Be a Soap Star" ~ they're giving the winner a 13-week role on "Days of Our Lives"! How could I resist?!? When I got home that evening, I had an email in my inbox saying that I have been scheduled to audition for a student film called "Losing the Funny"...for Saturday! Geez! :-) I was starting to feel like an idiot...submitting myself for projects that were all happening on the same day I was auditioning for "Soap Star." But then I realized that none of the ads posted listed when their projects/auditions were happening. I had turn the commercial down, but I was able to make both "Soap Star" and student film auditions.

I WANNA BE A SOAP STAR AUDITIONS:
An interesting experience. The gals I met while standing in line were very sweet, and they kept me laughing. While were waiting in line, the production crew got shots of us being "enthused," screaming/whoo-ing, smiling, waving, etc. None of us felt like being that enthused at 8:30 in the morning.

By 9am, the host of the show, Cameron Mattheson had arrived, and he shot his intro-to-the show bits. They brought all of us into the shot by getting us into a group behind him. He intro-ed the show, and we screamed the last line with him..."I Wanna Be a Soap Star!!! ...whoooooo!!!!" Yeah. Whoooo. We shot this a number of times, as you can imagine by now...and they tried to rotate us, so they'd have different faces in the front. I didn't exactly make it up there. Stuck in the middle, and every once in a while in camera view.

10am/10:30am, they brought us the stage where the auditions were being held. By the way, we were at the same studios where "Grey's Anatomy" is shot. So, when we passed by the "General Hospital" stage, the girls I was chatting with let out huge gasps. When I told them "Grey's Anatomy" is also shot here, they let out more gasps.

As we approached the stage set, a crew member started pairing us to go in. They gave us a scene to improv (just as Mikey had told me a couple of weeks ago). Our scene (I was paired with a guy named Ryan): we were married for 5 years and taking a cruise. It was a long needed vacation; a second honeymoon. BUT the ship was sinking! and he needed to tell me something really important. Aaand go! The important thing he had to tell me...he was married to my sister...but it's over and he loves me, and he'll be with me to the end! My reactions: what?!? I was in shock, trying to catch my breath, tearing up, how could this happen?!? He said she looked so much like me, he thought it was me. How?!? We're not twins!!! She's 15 years older than me!!! Are they divorced??? No. Anyway, this went on, and they finally stopped us.

The next little thing they had us do was make up a new jingle for the show. Ryan went first and did really well! Then I went, and after some thought, I told them that I was going to riff off of Ryan's jingle because it was stuck in my head. It wasn't the greatest, but whatever.

They said "thank you," and that was it. I thought that maybe they would be calling us if they wanted us back fro a call back, but then Ryan pointed out that it looked like the people who got call backs got a couple of papers and had to go to a table to register. One of the girls I talked to found us and asked if we had registered already. We were like "Oh! You got a call back?!" And she said in surprise "Oh! I guess I did!"

So, I was able to make it to the next audition with no worries AND with some time to stop by my apt. for some brunch.

STUDENT FILM AUDITION:
I submitted myself for this film because it looked interesting, and I had read that it's good to do student films because (a) you have a chance to work on your acting skills, (b) you have footage to build your demo reel, (c) if the director applies for a SAG contract agreement, you can get a SAG voucher and/or become SAG elgible if you have lines (gotta find out about that), and (d) the film could be going to festivals, and (e) today's student filmmaker could be tomorrow's Steven Spielberg.

I think it went all right. No way to really tell. I read for two parts ~ Michael/Michelle (they're not sure which way they'll go with the gender yet) and the Waitress, who has one line and will always be in the background, as the main characters use her restaurant as their office. The one thread of hope I have to hang on to is that the director asked if they had my contact info - email address, phone number. If he weren't interested in using me at all, I don't think he would've asked. It just seems to be the way it works. You don't always get a call or email to say "Sorry. We don't need you." -- in acting or the video post production world.

Grey's Anatomy Pics

My cousin was awesome enough to grab these screen stills of my Grey's Anatomy appearance from the first two episodes of the 3-episode story arc of the ferry boat disaster. The first two pics are from towards the end of the first episode, "Walk on Water." The last three are from the beginning of the second episode, "Drowning on Dry Land."

To see a bigger picture, click on the images below.

A "Grey's Anatomy" Afterglow

Three days after being - correction: *working* on the set of "Grey's Anatomy," and I still have that afterglow.

My day there is more than words can say. It's a little hard to describe it without jumping up and down and exclaiming "and then...! and then...!" It was hard for me not to do it THERE!, but I did have to remain professional, of course. And I'm a pro at pulling off "professional."

So, to professionally describe my first working day as an actress, it started at 7:30am when I arrived at Prospect Studios in Hollywood. As I headed to the wardrobe trailer, the first person I saw was Sara Ramirez ("Dr. Callie Torres"), who was coming out of one of the trailers. We looked at each other, and for whatever reason, my brain decided to be confused as to whether or not to say "hi." So, after an internal shrug, I continued onto the wardrobe trailer. There was a short line as the other background actors waited to check-in and have their wardrobe checked out. The costumer was a short, possibly French man with very little patience. "Do you have another scarf? It's blue? Can I see it? Oh, it's in your car?" and with a flip of his head, "Come back at 8; I thought you were ready." As the next actor was called up, he and the check-in guy learn that the actor has an 8am call. They're turned away, and the guys ask if any of us have a 7:30am call. None of us did, so of course, we're scolded for being at the studios early. Great start. We checked in, got our vouchers, and were sent away to fill it out and told to come back at 8am.

Not knowing where to really go, I made a bee-line to a park bench next to the "General Hospital" stage. A brunette girl about an inch shorter than me joined me a moment later. Within minutes, we were talking, and she told me of the other shows she's done background work on since August. [an aside: One of which was "Gilmore Girls." Being a GG fan, I had to ask how the experience was. Sadly, it wasn't the greatest. They don't feed the background actors, and from what I heard from someone else, Melissa McCarthy ("Sookie") doesn't have as nice a personality as her character. When the background actors were coming in for a scene, she rolled her eyes and said "Here come the cockroaches."] My new friend-for-the-day's name was "Ryan" (it was spelled in an unusual way that I don't remember).

Lining back up for wardrobe to deal with the ever so delightful costumer at 8am, I get pushed aside once again when he tells us that he will deal with "bandaged victims" (that's me!) last. The reason was because we would be entering the scene with dirty clothes, so instead of the clothes that we brought, we would be borrowing from the wardrobe department. My costume = punk jogger = tan-ish jogging jacket and dark brown cargo pants.

Once in wardrobe and meeting one more background actor, Manford, we ("Ryan," Manford, and I) decide to grab some breakfast after seeing person after person come in with scrambled eggs and such. Breakfast was less than stellar, but it was food, and at least we wouldn't pass out on the set.

Soon after, a girl, who I'll just call the coordinator, came in to inform us of the scene we were about to shoot. There's a huge disaster (news has leaked as to the sort of disaster; google it!) and tons of people are rushed to Seattle Grace Hospital. The first scene we shot was in the waiting room where we're waiting for news on our loved ones. Apparently, even though I was a "bandaged victim," I got no bandages and I wasn't hurt that badly! Dr. Alex Karev (played by Justin Chambers) comes in to give us the news. This is one scene where I might have some good screen time.

The next scene shot was with T.R. Knight ("Dr. George O'Malley"). Another scene where I could possible be seen. I was close to T.R., and we were both bent or kneeling talking to some kids.

The final scene had Justin Chambers and a guest-starring female doctor. They're standing in front of two bulletin boards with pinned pictures. I go up to one of the boards and take one of the pictures after one of the actors exclaims "This is Fatima!..." and exits. Justin Chambers was standing right next to me when I grabbed the picture.

These scenes were shot over and over again from a million different angles and kept us there to about 9pm.

Now for the inside scoop and such. Justin and T.R. both seemed like very down to earth people. Being near them in scenes, we ended up making eye contact, and both of them smiled at me...Justin added a wink (ha!). And yes, he is married and has 5 kids in Catholic school. Someone at my last work place told me she met T.R., and he was the sweetest, most humble guy. He's a good friend of one of her friends, and they met at party. When she told him that he's on one of her favorite TV shows, he pretended he didn't know what show she was talking about.

I loved working on the "Grey's Anatomy" set. The crew all seemed very nice (with the exception of the costumer, who's rumored to not be so nice -- I personally had no problems with him and vice versa) and they really seemed to enjoy each other's company and the work that they do. The background actors I met (we formed a nice circle in the holding area ~ I was part of the "popular" crowd ;-)) were all very cool and no flying egos, as there shouldn't be! I also felt very comfortable in the environment; everyone was in shock that it was my first time. I don't know what that actually means, but I've taken it as a compliment.

**Expected Airing...after doing some googling, I discovered that this storyline is following a 3-episode story arc. My assumption is that the big disaster is going to occur at the end of the first episode of the story arc, and the "aftermath" of worried and disgruntled friends and family will be the second episode. And that should be my episode. However, I could absolutely wrong about this...so, you should just watch every episode till you see the scenes I described earlier. The expected dates are: Thurs., Feb. 8th; Thurs., Feb. 15th; and Thurs., Feb. 22nd at 9pm on ABC.**

A New Year

It's surprising to see that my last blog was in October! How can that be??? Oh. Right. I got a full time QC job. Wow, that seriously took over my life.

New in my life for the new year:

~ No longer chained to a full time job; I am freelance and lovin' it, baby!
~ Headshots!!! Finally have professional headshots of which I can be proud to hand over to casting directors, agents, managers, homeless guy on the street - no, wait. Take that back. That's a little creepy.
~ Taking control and freeing my creative self! Sounds so California, huh? Yeah, well, for the first time in a long time, I'm feeling the most "me" and feeling very positive of the future.
~ A warm January! (I'll ignore the 30-40 degree temps we had yesterday)
~ Serious plumbing problems. Last week, the bathroom. This week, the kitchen. Oh joy.
~ An interview for another freelance QC job...and closer to where I live!

In the works for the new year:

~ More acting classes. I'll be starting an on-going soap class taught by my wonderful instructor from the 4-week class at AIA Studios. He's a casting director on Y&R, has such a positive attitude and a joy to work with!
~ Subcategory on the acting ~ performing for commercial agents to land an agent. Yikes! I gotta find some script.
~ Teaching piano to kids (and considering adults) for extra cash and another creative outlet. Gotta read up on some boring piano teaching manuals.

Hope everyone has a safe and HAPPY 2007!!!