Only-Child Instincts

God, I've been feeling so out of it. So ostracised. I feel every where I turn, every situation I'm in (minus being with Andrew), I'm the only one standing. Everyone seems to desert me as soon as other people, other friends (or what's above acquaintances?) show up, they gravitates towards them and away from me. I'm alone. All alone. No, I don't really want pity. I have enough for myself at the moment (haha!).

Is it the changes in me? The rediscovery of my true self that is driving people away? It's not like I'm broadcasting these changes to the world, but perhaps it's the hint that I just don't fit that mold, that "idea" they have of me. I've already been written off by someone who swore up and down they'd always be there for me, but in all honesty, they were toxic to me. It doesn't discount the fact that it hurt in that moment.

While some of my friends seem to be deserting me, I know they'll tell me that I can count on them, but I still feel that there's a part of me that needs to rely on my only-child instincts of being able to be by myself.

I am Elphaba

This past Thursday, I participated in a student project for a music video shoot of Wicked's "Popular." I was most ecstatic to be cast as Elphaba, and even more pleasantly surprised to discover what an amazing job the production team did with the project! Take note that it was all lip-synced, but the team built the set, shot with 3 studio cameras simultaneously, and all the cuts were taken LIVE. In other words, no edits were made after the shoot.

The experience was fabulous, and I sincerely hope to work with everyone again! There IS the chance of doing another "Wicked" video! hehe... :-)