Make It Happen...

Completely scary to feel that your true goal in life may never be attained. As much as I've wished and longed for this in life, these past few days, it's been gnawing at me just how much I want to be a professional actress. Whether it's because my acting teacher really seems to be loving the work my scene partner and I are doing, or how much I feel like I'm learning from that class...I'm more and more inspired everyday.

Everytime I pass by a studio, I feel like THAT'S where I'm supposed to be. In the back of my mind, though, is my mom's voice nagging about how impractical a career choice it is...but this is why I continue along my post production path. However, when people ask what I do, and I tell them, they're more excited about my job than I am. I always feel like a fraud as I tell them about my career...because I have to appear just as excited. Well, not that I really HAVE to. I COULD share my passion for acting with them. I usually choose not to, though, as I don't need to hear them say "Yeah, you and everyone else in L.A."

And, of course, that's what makes it scary. There are so many people out here with dreams of acting. And whether you have talent or not doesn't always matter. Every producer, director, casting director is looking for something different. You never know what that might be.

It's a game of chance; win or lose, I'm throwing myself in...wish me luck.

Wish...

A year and a half later, I again ask: Who’s taken over my life??? A year and a half ago, the answer was “Beauty & The Beast.” Now? L.A. (L.A. = work/post production companies). Good thing, right? Yeah, I think so. I can’t keep up with what’s going on or what day it is. It’s been a juggling act, and I really hope that with the juggling, I don’t drop a ball or more. It feels strange to say that my life has been “crazy,” but with the three jobs, an acting class, and scheduling rehearsal outside of class (and keeping that time free), it DOES get hectic! Lo and behold, I AM starting to have some sort of resemblance of a life in California!

Speaking of acting class, I’m feeling so invigorated and so inspired! The “Agnes of God” scene is going well, and with each class performance, our teacher is giving us more to work with, more to play with with our characters. I also attended a free class last Friday called The Actors Instrument. The class had us explore freeing our body and voice, and had us practice focus, relaxation, and imagination exercises. It was fabulous! And just a little while ago, I opened my patio door and overheard a meeting my apartment manager was having with, apparently, some TV writers! Whether it’s amateur or professional, I don’t know…but exciting and inspiring nonetheless!

Somehow, being surrounded by acting (minus the music) is stimulating; being surrounded by music in New York, while exciting, was intimidating. Strange how that is…

I just reread a birthday card from my friend, Randy. It reads: “Wish…and make the wish come true.” Inspiring words. And I need to do it.