Make It Happen...

Completely scary to feel that your true goal in life may never be attained. As much as I've wished and longed for this in life, these past few days, it's been gnawing at me just how much I want to be a professional actress. Whether it's because my acting teacher really seems to be loving the work my scene partner and I are doing, or how much I feel like I'm learning from that class...I'm more and more inspired everyday.

Everytime I pass by a studio, I feel like THAT'S where I'm supposed to be. In the back of my mind, though, is my mom's voice nagging about how impractical a career choice it is...but this is why I continue along my post production path. However, when people ask what I do, and I tell them, they're more excited about my job than I am. I always feel like a fraud as I tell them about my career...because I have to appear just as excited. Well, not that I really HAVE to. I COULD share my passion for acting with them. I usually choose not to, though, as I don't need to hear them say "Yeah, you and everyone else in L.A."

And, of course, that's what makes it scary. There are so many people out here with dreams of acting. And whether you have talent or not doesn't always matter. Every producer, director, casting director is looking for something different. You never know what that might be.

It's a game of chance; win or lose, I'm throwing myself in...wish me luck.

Wish...

A year and a half later, I again ask: Who’s taken over my life??? A year and a half ago, the answer was “Beauty & The Beast.” Now? L.A. (L.A. = work/post production companies). Good thing, right? Yeah, I think so. I can’t keep up with what’s going on or what day it is. It’s been a juggling act, and I really hope that with the juggling, I don’t drop a ball or more. It feels strange to say that my life has been “crazy,” but with the three jobs, an acting class, and scheduling rehearsal outside of class (and keeping that time free), it DOES get hectic! Lo and behold, I AM starting to have some sort of resemblance of a life in California!

Speaking of acting class, I’m feeling so invigorated and so inspired! The “Agnes of God” scene is going well, and with each class performance, our teacher is giving us more to work with, more to play with with our characters. I also attended a free class last Friday called The Actors Instrument. The class had us explore freeing our body and voice, and had us practice focus, relaxation, and imagination exercises. It was fabulous! And just a little while ago, I opened my patio door and overheard a meeting my apartment manager was having with, apparently, some TV writers! Whether it’s amateur or professional, I don’t know…but exciting and inspiring nonetheless!

Somehow, being surrounded by acting (minus the music) is stimulating; being surrounded by music in New York, while exciting, was intimidating. Strange how that is…

I just reread a birthday card from my friend, Randy. It reads: “Wish…and make the wish come true.” Inspiring words. And I need to do it.

Singing La la lala laaaaa

Oh my goodness, what a crazy fantabulous day! Well, first, I'll start with last night. Last night was great; had my acting class and we were given film scenes to work on with a partner. I was given "Agnes of God," and I'm playing the role of Agnes, a nun (I think? Kinda crazy story that I need to figure out). Why am I always playing a nun? I feel like I am, anyway. I THINK I was given the role of a nun in my last acting class...and part of me is wondering if that was also "Agnes of God." haha, but anyway, it's okay. I just find it funny.

Today, I had an interview for a freelance QC position, and I got it! And this morning, I received a call from a casting director for a makeover series on USA in response to my reply to their ads. It was a silly thing that I figured "why not?" The ads were titled "Have you ever wanted to be a professional cheerleader?" and "Have you ever wanted to go back an era?" (such as the 1950s). I was all over both. hahaha. I think there's compensation, so that would be cool if I were cast. My interview is on Monday afternoon. AND I think I just saw Jason Mraz driving home. We were on Magnolia Blvd. (not that most of you would really know where that is) at a stoplight. I looked in my rearview mirror and noticed this guy pulling down his sunglasses to look at my vanity plates ~ which are still VA, Virginia Tech plates that read "LILHOK"...translating to "Little Hokie," of course. My first thought was "Is that Jason Mraz???," but I wasn't sure if his home was L.A. and I wasn't sure if he was out on tour. We ended up next to each other on the corner of Magnolia and Vineland, as I was making a left onto Vineland. When the light turned green, he definitely caught a last glance at me as he continued straight on Magnolia. As soon as I got here, I checked out his MySpace page. His home IS L.A., his main pic shows him with the same sunglasses I saw on the dude on Magnolia...and he's not on tour. And guess what ~ his next stop is at VA Tech in a few weeks.

Mad craziness.

Now, I'm off to clean my apt. since my acting partner will be meeting me there tomorrow. Well, first will be dinner and catching up on Days. Oh! and I gotta find a place for Andrew and me to eat when he gets back from the east coast.

lalala!

Allusions ~ They make me feel good

Well, I think my last update was accurate. Things ARE looking up! Work has steadily been picking up...or at least, the allusion is there. ;-) E! called wanting to book me for 3 days this week, but it ended up only being 1 day. Another post production company called wanting to book me for 2 or 3 days, which I ended up turning down because I was booked with E! Then, as noted above, E! dropped my last two edit sessions. Work at the hospital (for the baby photography) has picked up, as well, which is GREAT news for me. The past 3 to 4 weeks were very depressing ~ no moms were interested in taking pics, so I would drive out there only to waste 30 to 60 min. of my time.

My apartment is gradually becoming more "home-y"...or again, it's all an allusion. Still no furniture, but I have desk!!! and a desk chair ~ my first ever! and I got a grill (also, my first ever)!!! Andrew and I used it the very first night! Kabobs and hot dogs...yummm! :-P Next on the list is a closet organizer for my bedroom. It'll be such a relief to not live out of my suitcase anymore! It's been 3 months. It's about time...

On an even more exciting note, I had my first acting class last night! As always, I was very nervous going in, but I think there's a good bunch in the class, and the teacher is great. Very much an L.A. actor (in a non-obnoxious way) if that makes any sense. Umm, funny that I peg him with that description when he was born and raised in Brooklyn! The class has a different feel to it than previous classes I've taken. Perhaps because it's for on-camera vs. my previous classes, where - I think - it was assumed that we would be on-stage. In any case, we talked about the basics ~ character and environment. So, that really shouldn't have been an affect of the different feel. I can't put my finger on it.

Oh! and I saw Jay Leno on the 101 last week! I was driving home with the convertible top down, and I heard this loud rumble. I thought "WHAT is that ridiculously loud noise?!?" I turned my head and saw this antique convertible two lanes to my left. As he passed me, I saw the white hair and wondered "Is that Jay Leno?"He turned his head to the right as he crossed over a lane, and then another, two cars in front of me. I grabbed my camera-phone for a quick shot, and while it's not the best one, there it is. My first celebrity sighting in L.A.

That is the update, my dear friends. As I sit here on the hard, carpeted floor, leaning against my make-shift couch of 3 plastic storage bins, slightly covered with a semi-fluffy blanket...I wish you a good day! :-)

Finally!

Things are looking up! I’ve purposefully avoided writing another woe-is-me blog the past week and a half. Between being concerned about a girl I graduated with who is in the hospital for a brain aneurism (which then led me to wanting to visit home) and finding a job for myself, I resisted every single urge to splatter my emotions online. The last thing I want is for this blog to become a huge downer.

My morning started with walking into my living room only to find a big, nasty cockroach crawling along my carpet. Hmm, flashback to seeing my first NYC cockroach…but not as horrible. The L.A. cockroach was half the size and did not run at me when I went to towards it. With every ounce of courage (and some whimpering), I was able to chase it onto my patio. I think it found it’s way out into the wilderness.

A few hours later, a housewarming plant arrived to my apartment from my favorite aunt and uncle. Such a great surprise! I mean, I knew that it was arriving…however, I was expecting flowers, not a plant…and a plant is SO MUCH BETTER!!! I love how it’s just warmed this place up!

E! is reinstalling me as an assistant editor for the next few days. I couldn’t be more excited and nervous (again!) at the same time. Just why do they have to stick a producer with me on an evening shift? Ah well, that which doesn’t kill me…, right?

Tomorrow’s a full day. 10am ~ interview for a photographer position with a family portrait company (one that goes out and about to take the pics, not just an indoor studio). 1pm ~ free hair color touch-up (cuz the color didn’t stick first time around). 5pm ~ work.

Also on my plate is the, hopefully, beginning stages of my “acting career.” Should I even be putting quotations around that? I’d really rather not jinx myself by removing them. ;-) I just got off the phone with an acting studio that will basically act as my mentor, provide industry contacts for me, acting classes, and workshops with well-known actors/producers/directors. I have a meeting with them on Saturday!

Do I see a light at the end of this tunnel?

Self Re-Invention

Overall, a great day yesterday! Andrew and I both had hair cut appointments at his salon in Burbank, and I also had mine colored. A cut and color were LONG overdue! This change seemed to go along with the decision to reinvest in myself.

After being beaten down for the past several weeks, it's about time for me to once again focus on brushing up on my editing skills; So that when the time comes again for an interview or to go on a freelance job, I'll have as much confidence in editing as I do in QC-ing. As soon as I finish goofing around (yet, polishing, refining, and learning) with some "Gilmore Girls" footage, I even have an original project to work on with the hopes of having it aired on The Travel Channel (oh, the irony since I left Discovery almost a year ago) and being paid up to $1000 for it. Woo! Let's not get our hopes up, though. ;-) And today, I started looking into acting gigs. On Monday, I'll be calling the company for "Grey's Anatomy" to get more information on doing background work.

Back to my girl-talk...I love, love, love the new hair-do! All the blonde highlights are gone and have been replaced with brown-red highlights...and I have a touch of bangs!!! that I can hide whenever I feel like. It's strange to have hair in my eyes again. We spent almost 3 hrs. in the salon...talk about Andrew being a good boyfriend! ;-) He was quite interested in the process (he took a pic of me with all the foil in my hair!), and at least, he's basically friends with his hair stylist (the stylist is a guy).

Once the hair was done, we grabbed a quick bite to eat at a sushi bar, and I had my first sushi hand roll. Yum yum! Then we went to the theatre to see "Talladega Nights." Funny stuff! and at the end of the movie, I learned that someone from my high school alma mater was one of the main characters ~ Leslie Bibb. She's been in movies here and there, and was in a WB or UPN show called "Popular." This is just the first movie, I believe, that I've actually seen her in...except for her very small role in The Howard Stern movie. She did a good job! ...she should find me a job! Help a fellow alum! ;-)

It was a perfect day yesterday. I'm not even going to let my dead-battery-car get me down today!

A Day with the "Boys Only" Club

Let me tell you about my day.

First of all, you know how stressed I am about my non-job situation, right? Well, imagine the luck I felt when a company called a couple of days ago asking me to come in for an assistant editing position. Immediately, I looked up the classified to reaquaint myself with the job requirements. Holy crap, I had no experience with half of what was listed. Well, they called me! So, they must think I'm capable enough to handle the job! I googled what I didn't know, found one easy to learn, and the other wasn't even goog-able or wikipediable. Must be their own company term. Oh well! In any case, I planned on preparing for this interview and being ready for any sort of test they may throw my way.

Completely nervous this morning. I hide my nerves well, though. The guys seemed happy with my background and happy that I could start anytime soon. I was happy that the shifts weren't crazy hours and that benefits were included after a 90-day trial period. Leaving there with a positive outlook, I headed home for a much needed nap and chill day.

11:30am ~ the company calls. It's HR. She tells me that the guys liked me, there was a ton of work, could I start NOW? I had JUST changed into my comfy yoga pants and tank top. "Sure! I can be there by 1pm," I reply.

12:30pm ~ I'm there. That's right. EARLY. This SHOULD be appreciated. I get the tour, start learning the ropes, do a few things on my own, talk to a couple of guys. One of the guys tells me that coming into this assistant editing job, he knew NOTHING. "So, you should be fine since you have some background," he tells me.

During some of the downtime, I look around the asst. editing room and notice that all the movie posters are chick posters, there are tons of x-box games (not that I have anything against that! ;-)), and on the opposite wall was the standard boys' dart board. Hmm, I'm thinking they brought me in JUST to have a little bit of estrogen in the room.

5pm ~ things REALLY slow down. Perhaps I can go home... Nope! I'm sent off to take a dinner break. They're not even sure if they'll be work when I come back. Well, I take advantage of that time, go to Quiznos and The Coffee Beanery for some much needed coffee.

6pm ~ still no work for me to do at the office. However, the two upper/head assistant editors have an interviewee who's coming in, and they're waving his resume around in my face! Soon, they start ragging on his resume, on his probable exaggerated job titles/duties, his two years spent working at Starbucks, and the fact that he didn't go to college. Oh, and did I mention they were ALSO ragging on him for being late?! and coming up with random questions to ask him just to see if he was lying on his resume.

Should it have surprised me that as they came back from the interview, they were completely jazzed about this guy, the head of post production/operations/whatever gave the assistant editors a thumbs up and asked "So, what do you think of this guy??? I think HE'S it! He's Number One! ...and he's so cool!" This was immediately proceeded with the head assistant editor turning to me and saying "Charlene, I don't think we'll be needing you tomorrow, but I'll put you on a list. Thanks for dropping everything today and coming in."

Well, they have their boys club back. Good riddance. I've never seen such unprofessionalism.

Oreos, please...

Today felt like Murphy (as in "Murphy's Law") was playing with me. Not so fun when you realize that your checking account is low and rent is due ~ it can't be a day late, otherwise, you get slammed with a $50 late fee ~ you drive 40 min. (in traffic) to get to your closest bank (I know, what bank do I belong to that it takes 40 min. with traffic to get to?), you get there only to find out that their network is down. What the hell??? And you know that this wouldn't be happening if only someone in their right mind would hire you! Not to mention, that two cars were very close to hitting me on the way back home, AND every street I turned onto seemed to have a car stopped in front of me ~ either making a right turn and waiting for pedestrians to cross, or simply being there double parked. All I wanted to do was get home, have a sandwich, and pig out on Oreos.

It's mind boggling to me (6 in one hand, half a dozen in the other) that I could make the move to New York City ~ 80% fearful that I would not have a steady freelance gig, or that I would even find a second freelance gig just in a case the first one didn't work out ~ and actually having it all work out that I end up dropping that second freelance gig. Yet, as much as that worked out, I wasn't completely happy. There was only one friend I had in the city (my roommate), and the dating scene stinked! My sole purpose in New York ended up being: to work. Now that I come to California, the job situation is shakey; however, my living style, dating and friend scenes are great! Where's the medium? Or can I just have it all, please?

OVERqualified?

I think this is the first time in my life that I've been told that I'm OVERqualified to be an assistant editor. Compliment, of course, but...WHAT?!? I'm anything BUT overqualified to be an assistant editor. Have you SEEN me as an assistant editor? Wow, I'm totally downgrading myself now. It's just I don't see how I could be anything more than assistant editor at this time. It's that stage for me. Previous employers had no problems in hiring me as "less" than assistant editor, and I had no problems in taking the jobs. I just need the money! I understand the concept of working your way up in a company.

I also understand the cliche saying of "Everything happens for a reason." I firmly believe in it. But where's the hope when no one replies or says "You're awesome, but you're overqualified"?

testing testing

No means NO!

*Originally posted at blog.myspace.com/charlenevt on July 9, 2006*

Has this happened to anyone?

Through my apt. search in L.A. (even in all other cities), I have never, ever encountered anything so ridiculous.

It all started this past Monday, when i found an attractive ad on craigslist for a Hollywood apartment. The price was right and close to the E! office. But something held me back from writing down the number and calling right away. Looking back over the ads to see if I had missed anything, I ran across that particular ad again. i wondered why I hadn't taken down the info. In rereading the ad, I figured "eh, why not?"

I reached for the phone and called the three numbers I had jotted on my writing tablet. The first call was to the Hollywood apartment. The guy kept me on the phone for a while, asked me what I do for a living, told me about his tenants, told me he's looking for someone who's going to stay for a while. It was a bit awkward being on the phone that long, but it made sense that he wanted to know a bit about a potential tenant.

The next morning, July 4th, I headed over to the apartment, which was still being cleaned and painted. The manager greeted me and remarked that I had "such a nice personality." I took my own little tour of the place. It wasn't bad, but didn't compare to an apt. I had viewed in Studio City the day before. The manager continued to talk up the apt., tell me about the neighbors, tell me that he considers his tenants as "friends/family," show me the front yard with a hammock, the laundry room, and where I would park. As we walked back to the unit, he tells me "I'm going to make a deal for you. Ask me why." Me: "Okay. Why?" Manager: "Because you seem like a nice person. You have such a nice personality." The deal? He lowered the rent and waived the key deposit fee of $50. If I filled out an application right then and there, I could've moved in the following day. He wanted me to call him that EVENING to tell him my decision. Um. Okay. Did he REALIZE that it was the 4th of July and that I might have plans?!? But oh, there were other applicants who are interested. Right.

Towards the end of a cookout in Santa Monica, I stepped away to give the manager a call. Of course, I had decided to pass on the apt. Most NORMAL people would say "Okay, thank you" and say goodbye. No. This guy proceeded to ask me "why" and "what does the other apartment have that this one doesn't?" How 'bout more space, a private patio, and a pool? Oh, but I don't want a pool. I'm no "hoodlum"! I was on the phone with him for over 10 minutes as he tried to convince me to stop by on Thursday once the floors were varnished, and he would make me an even "better" deal.

When I FINALLY got off the phone with him (and he was still talking after we had said "bye"), he called AGAIN! The phone didn't even ring; that's how fast he had called. He left a message saying that he had forgotten to tell me something about this "better deal" he was going to offer me.

The next day (Wednesday), he called. Surprised? And this was after we had agreed to speak on THURSDAY. I didn't answer since the call was marked as "private."

Thursday comes, and Andrew offered to call him and get rid of him. I think he expected it to be a simple "Charlene's not interested. Goodbye." conversation. Yeah. No. The manager was "confused" and didn't know who "Charlene" was. Then he finally "figured it out" and said "Oh, she can't call me herself? Okay. Thank you." *click*

Really, when did apartment hunting become like THIS?

Hello, hello!

It's been about a month and a half since I've been in sunny California, and even with one steady part time job on my hands, I have to say that things couldn't be better! As some of you know, I've been working as a photographer at the UCLA hospital doing portraits of newborns. It's definitely a "cute" and creative job opportunity. However, the pay and commute may make my stay there a short one. Only if a better paying/more enjoyable job comes my way.

About three weeks ago, I started a freelance assistant editing gig with E! Entertainment. The job was heaven sent. No doubt I was a nervous wreck the first three days, seeing that it had been a couple of years since I had touched an Avid! but like falling off a bike, I was back on and well on my way each day that passed. However, the work has dried up since July 5th.

Finally on the job-update, a two-year old network called SiTV (pronounced "C-TV") gave me a ring to ask if I could come in for an interview for an assistant editing position. The downer to the gig is that it's a graveyard shift (midnight to 8:30am). Unbelievable that this shift is even worse than what I worked at Discovery! Anyway, the interview went well, as far as I know. The director of post production said that they were impressed with me and I "presented myself well." So, we'll see what happens!

Two weeks ago, I signed a lease on a new apt. in Studio City. I love the place! It's spacious, big closets, has a patio, and the complex has a pool. My apt. is right by it! Andrew and I have been busy painting and "remodeling" it. I'll be sure to post pics as soon as it's all done. :-)

Speaking of apartments, I do have one other blog I want to post that I originally posted on myspace. It deals with just one crazy apt. manager I had to deal with before finding my current haven.

Other than becoming more "Officially Californian" everyday, I've also enjoyed my new home by celebrating the 4th of July at a cookout in Santa Monica and watching the fireworks in a local neighborhood shot from CBS Studios, going to Disneyland for a day (I'm an annual member! ;-)), going to see one of my favorite performers ~ Kristin Chenoweth in concert at The Greek Theatre, and going to see "Pirates of the Caribbean" opening week at the El Capitan theatre ~ which is owned by Disney, so it was a huge to-do! We're talking employees dressed up as pirates, pieces and props from the movie on display, and an organ player dressed up as a pirate entertaining us in the theatre before the movie. Pictures to come for that, as well. I've also started back up with voice lessons. My teacher played Kim in "Miss Saigon" on Broadway back in 1992 and is Filipino! hehe. :-) As soon as I'm settled, I'll be looking for auditions again!

Hope all is well with everyone!

Charlene